When we think of the festive season we think of decorating the Christmas tree, spending time with friends and family, giving and receiving presents, sipping mulled wine and eating mince pies. However, there is another occurrence which has, for sometime, become associated with the festive period; divorce. There is a consistent spike in the amount of people separating in the month of January. For many legal firms the first working Monday of January, dubbed ‘Divorce Day’ means dealing with a flood of inquiries about separation. The charity Relate records that there is usually a 24% increase in calls about divorce to their helpline in January compared with an average month. Similarly, it is estimated that more than 40,500 people will search the word ‘divorce’ online in January, 25% more than average.
In 2017 The Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency recorded the amount of divorces in Northern Ireland as 2,089. They also provide a breakdown of the areas in which these divorces were filed, Belfast ranked the highest with 360 divorces and Mid Ulster recorded the lowest amount of only 102. If you are interested in reading the full report click here.
Divorce is not usually attributed to one thing, except in the case of infidelity and if you consider some of the key elements of the Christmas period, it is quite obvious how it could be a problematic concoction, especially for couples who are already struggling in their relationship.
Time – Getting time off work means that it is likely couples will spend more time together than they usually do. Rather than seeing each other before/after work couples are potentially spending long days together in the house preparing for Christmas. For many, this can be an intense period of close contact where tension can build. Without adequate time apart couples can feel smothered leading to irritation and arguments.
Money –Christmas is often an extremely stressful occasion due to money, or the shortage of it. Concerns about being able to afford the associated costs of Christmas can put pressure on any relationship, especially if there is the added cost of buying for children. Over-spending can lead to anxiety and irritation which is ultimately directed towards the people closest to you.
In-Laws – With Christmas time comes family time and whilst for some this means catching up and reuniting, for many couples spending time with their in-laws isn’t a pleasant experience. For both members of the relationship this situation can be stressful, awkward, and a source of tension.
Alcohol –A greater amount of alcohol is consumed over the festive period which can lead to raised tempers and a tendency to voice opinions that are usually concealed. Similarly, alcohol can lead to inappropriate or altered behaviour when socialising at work/Christmas parties which again, can lead to arguments and upset.
Another reason for this January spike is that many people ‘hang in there’ with their partner until Christmas is over, especially when children are involved, so that the festive period isn’t ruined. Going into the new year can often give them clarity about changes they want to make how to move forward.
If you are thinking of getting a divorce, are in the midst of separation, or just need marital advice/support here are some useful and informative links:
It is important to remember you are not the first person to get a divorce and you will not be the last. Whilst it is a difficult thing to undertake you will get through it and navigate a new life without your partner. If you have gotten divorced or are currently separating join or start the conversation below, offer advice, ask for support, or simply tell your story.
